Perfect
by Cereal-Killa
Summary: I grew up trying. Trying to do what I wanted to do. And it wasn’t enough for you. Nothing ever is. Because all you want is perfection, you want excellence. Well I’m sorry. I can’t be perfect. Duncan and his Dad. Really sad. Uses Simple Plan's 'Perfect'.


**Summary**: I grew up trying. Trying to do what I wanted to do. And it wasn't enough for you. Nothing ever is. Because all you want is perfection, you want excellence. Well I'm sorry. I can't be perfect.

Perfect

_Hey Dad look at me  
Think back and talk to me  
Did I grow up according  
To plan?_

It was a really pretty ring. A rather large diamond, 1/3 carrot in fact. And it was for her. I had sat for a while with myself, thinking it through. Not if I wanted to- I mean of course I did, but if she wanted to. If she would accept it.

On my way out of the house- things couldn't go according to plan. Like a lot of things in my life.

"Duncan, where are you going?" His black hair had streaks of gray twisting their way through, his voice sharp.

I sighed. "Nowhere, Dad. Out with Courtney."

It dropped.

A small black box tumbled from my hands. Rolled on the floor. Older man reaches down to pick it up. Looks at me sternly.

The start of another- hopefully the last- argument.

_Do you think I'm wasting  
my time doing things I  
Wanna do?  
But it hurts when you  
disapprove all along  
_

"No."

"What?" I yelled. I could feel the heat coming up to my face. "What makes you think you can say no? It's not even about you! I'm not asking you."

He glared at me. "You're not going to ruin that girl's life." He looked down at me, like he had when I was smaller.

"Ruin her life?" I whispered. "Ruin her life! You mean like how you ruined mine?" My face was flushed with anger. Ruin her life? How dare him.

_And now I try hard to make it  
I just want to make you proud  
I'm never gonna be good  
Enough for you  
I can't pretend that  
I'm alright  
And you can't change me _

"Me?" He grimaced. "Ruined your life? I didn't need to participate in that- you did it all by yourself."

I narrowed me eyes. "I'm never going to be good enough, am I?"

He sighed. "Duncan-"

"I'm never gonna be as good as my brothers, my sisters, as you! I'm never gonna be good enough."

"I grew up trying. Trying to do what I wanted to do. And it wasn't enough for you. Nothing ever is. Because all you want is perfection, you want excellence. Well I'm sorry. I can't be perfect."

I shook my head. I couldn't get upset. "Just give me my damn ring."

_'Cause we lost it all  
nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry  
I can't be Perfect Now it's just too late  
And we can't go back  
I'm sorry  
I can't be Perfect_

I headed over to Courtney's. Sitting outside of her house, I knew I couldn't go in now. I flipped open my cell phone.

"Hello?"

"Danny." I sighed. The only brother I could afford to see right now was available. "Can I stay over at your place tonight man? I can't go home."

I heard Danny begin a question, but stop. "Kay man."

The dial rang for about five minutes before I shut the phone.

_I try not to think  
about the pain I feel inside  
did you know you used to be  
my hero?  
All the days  
you spent with me  
now seem so far away  
and it feels like you don't  
Care anymore _

Danny was my closest brother- the only one who didn't end up being a cop. He was a physics teacher. But he also talked to me every once in awhile- unlike my other relatives, who only said 'hi' at Christmas. His apartment wasn't huge, but was big enough for some friends to hang out in.

At the end of watching 'Saw' and laughing at the blood and guts, Danny turned to me. "You okay dude? You seem a little… not you." His black eyebrows cocked.

I shook my head. "Just some crap with Dad is all."

He bit his lip. "Oh."

_And now I try hard to make it  
I just want to make you proud  
I'm never gonna be good  
enough for you  
I can't stand another fight  
and nothing's alright _

"It was a fight." He said. He didn't even ask, he just said it.

"Yeah." I sighed. "It was."

He bit his lip. "I'm sorry." Danny narrowed his eyes. "He only gets on you because you're the youngest. You're the last one."

I scowled. "He gets on my ass become I refuse to be his perfect little child! It wouldn't matter if I was born 1st, 3rd, or 6th. He would still hate me."

"Duncan." Danny eyes were stern. "Don't say that. He doesn't hate you."

"You don't know that." And then I was out the door. Out the house. Gone.

_'Cause we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry  
I can't be Perfect  
Now it's just too late  
And we can't go back  
I'm sorry  
I can't be Perfect  
_

I tried going back home.

I tried. But I couldn't face him. Not with Mom being at work. I couldn't go in the house alone… with him.

I decided to take a walk. It was raining.

Perfect weather for the not perfect teen.

_Nothing's gonna change  
The things that you said  
Nothing's gonna make this  
Right again  
Please don't turn your back  
I can't believe it's hard  
Just to talk to you  
But you don't understand_

There was too much rain.

But I kept walking.

About an hour of walking done, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

I dreamed it could be Dad. There to say he did love me. There to say I was his child, that he did respect me.

I turned around to see Danny.

I was so angry at myself. At Dad, but mostly at myself. Why would it be Dad? He didn't care about me. He never had.

_'Cause we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry  
I can't be Perfect  
Now it's just too late  
And we can't go back  
I'm sorry  
I can't be Perfect  
_

I growled. "It doesn't matter that's he never there for me!"

Danny was unmoved. The rain was getting harder.

"It doesn't matter, because I did everything without him by my side. I learned to shave without him, I got through school without him, I got an awesome girl without him, and I can do anything without that stupid bastard!" I couldn't tell if I was crying or if that was just the rain. I was so angry, I didn't even care.

"To hell with him!" I shook my head, back and forth. I knew I was crying now.

"Why doesn't he want me man?" I could feel my lip trembling, my head still shaking.

Danny arms were around me in a second.

I wasn't perfect.

I continued to shake my head, standing in the rain, with my brothers arms around me.

I'm not perfect.

'_Cause we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry  
I can't be Perfect  
Now it's just too late  
And we can't go back  
I'm sorry  
I can't be Perfect_

***

**That was very hard to write. It was hard to write, because it makes me very sad. My friend, Alex: His Dad left his family, and I was with him when he yelled some of those words up there on this page. That one part, when he said, "Why doesn't he want me man?" made me cry. Up, I cried big time.**

**I hope you liked it anyway. **

**R&R!**


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